Drunk Text Messaging

So I have one friend that just LOVES getting drunk messages and after last night (or more specifically last afternoon) I have seriously been contemplating their appeal. I have come up with a couple of theories and have included my personal text messages that support that specific theory. (And yes, I am a nerd. And yes, I am an academic. And yes, I have been out of school unable to find another intellectual release. Here I go....)

When you are drunk you always want to reach out. You want to feel connected to other people. I would imagine this is why there are so many drunk hookups and SO much hugging whenever there has been drinking. (Specifically in the female species... there is ALWAYS hugging, or at least one person hugging and the other people hugging back.) So people could text message as a way to connect with someone else.
E.x. 1:
Sent to Renee:
"I miss you. I don't have any friends."

It may also be that you think are actually SO hilarious that you have to share your insights with someone else.
E.x. 2:
Sent to Laura (the chef in training) after seeing a chef in the pub we were at:
"I just saw one of your kind. He was wearing a funny black hat and a full white jacket. Do you know him?"

Then there is the you "genuinely think the other person would enjoy being here so I am going to include them with a play by play of the conversation I just had with the people that are here in person with me." text message.
E.x. 3:
Sent to Laura:
"Jeff just made our day and called himself 'Bummer McBummerson'."
E.x. 4:
Sent to Renee:
"I just proposed that Jeff and I proposition this other couple for a swing. Jeff didn't take too kindly to my suggestion."

And finally there is the "I don't even know what I was thinking...." text message such as this one from yesterday.
E.x. 5:
Sent to Cory:
"I don't think I ever fully thanked you for making a man out of Jeff. The things he can do with a rabbit hole and a shot gun still wow me."


I wouldn't expect that these are mutually exclusive theories. I mean including others in the current situation (theorem 3) could just be an attempt to connect with others (theorem 1). It is also possible that (and here I go all Freudian) that the ones that you "don't even know why" are actually subconscious or unconscious needs being fulfilled (oh my I just included David McClelland and Maslow as well. Although to be technical this is just an extension of McClelland's work anyway, different needs being fulfilled through the use of text messaging.... but I digress.)

And on a completely different note:

My stuff is still in Winnipeg because the moving company actually forgot about it. It was supposed to be here yesterday at the latest.

I have a new favourite song. "Annoying" by Pascale Picard. You HAVE to find them.

I love you and miss you all.

Also, if you are waiting for me to send you a drunk text message you have to text me first because my old phone's dead and my charger is m.i.a.... I am more than willing to send out the messages.